Oh my Doc!
by Lostinfic
Summary: Prompt: Mistaken as deities. The Doctor and Rose arrive on a planet hoping to participate in their New Year's Eve celebration only to find out that they are the object of a religious cult. Things get complicated when they are asked to perform a mating ritual. (Fluffy; Not shag-or-die)


Author's note: This a Doctor Who secret Santa gift for Tumblr user Dryadalis.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you enjoy this story :)

* * *

><p>"MirHeit, best New Year's Eve celebration in this corner of the universe. One year for them is about 10 Earth years, so they wait a long time for it. It's a big bash, lasts a whole week, there's food, and music— oh you'll love the music, very upbeat, they've got these big drums covered with loose gold dust and it flies off around the drummers when they play. And alcohol! You love alcohol."<p>

He nudged Rose with his elbow, flashing a mischievous smile. He was referring to a night last week when she'd been served a pint of what she thought was only juice, she'd drank it too fast and had spent the following day with a terrible headache.

"Warn me next time," she replied.

"Alright, it's not as strong anyway, and they mix it with a flower nectar, it's delicious."

The Doctor continued babbling about the planet as they walked out of the narrow street where the Tardis had materialized and onto a round plaza surrounded by houses that looked like big igloos. They weren't made from ice though, but from a porous material, like coral, in pastel shades.

A cat— at least it looked like a cat: black, white and caramel and fluffy— came out from behind the house on the left. It walked straight to the Doctor, rubbing itself against his legs.

"Roooose, get it off me," he said, holding his hands up and hissing at the animal, "I'll have hair all over my trousers."

He looked up at his companion who had yet to come to his rescue. In fact, Rose was doubled over in laughter.

"Daleks and Cybermen— no problems, but a cute ball of fur…"

She couldn't finish her sentence, she was laughing too hard.

"Rooose!"

She finally picked up the cat, she held it in her arms, stroking its head and talking to it in a baby voice. The Doctor scowled.

"KitCat? KiiiiCaaat!"

A girl about Rose's age, maybe a bit older, came running out of one of the houses. When she saw Rose, she froze on the spot, eyes and mouth wide opened.

"You all right? Is this your cat?"

She didn't answer, but the animal jumped out of Rose's arms. However, the girl didn't pay any attention to the cat now at her feet, her eyes moved in the Doctor's direction, she gasped and covered her mouth with a trembling hand.

"What's wrong?" Rose put a hand on the brown-haired girl's shoulder. "What's your name?"

"It's… I'm Dryadalis."

"That's a pretty name, Dryadalis. I'm Rose and that's the Doctor, now can you tell me what happened?"

"Oh my Doc, it's really you!"

Dryadalis ran her thumb across her forehead then from side to side over her mouth.

"That's their religious sign, like the sign of the cross for Catholics," the Doctor whispered to Rose.

Before they could ask any more questions from her, she had ran away.

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other with a similar bemused look on their faces that turned into a grin. Without a word, they agreed to investigate this further. The Doctor took Rose's hand and guided her out of the plaza by a larger street on the opposite side.

Large pieces of fabric, like bed sheets, were hung between tall buildings, providing shade from the cluster of suns in the seafoam green sky. They walked underneath them, every step bringing them closer to a crowd. People were wearing dark colours and walking around from one stall to the next, high-tech gadgets were sold along with what looked like manatees. Rose and the Doctor stayed a little behind, observing the citizens.

"Something's wrong, everyone should be celebrating, there should be music and food."

"Erm, Doctor," Rose said, pulling on the sleeve of his coat.

"I smell rafjani, let's—"

"Doctor!"

He looked at his companion, then at where she was pointing. On their right, there was a big statue: a statue of them. Well, that would explain Dryadalis' reaction. The Doctor scratched his head, trying to remember if they'd been here before. Pulling his glasses out of his coat pocket, he took a closer look at the statue. There was no mistake, it was a representation of them, walking with the wind lifting his coat and her hair, but something was a bit different. He climbed up on the pedestal. And there it was: fine lines at the corner of Rose's eyes and mouth. This was a statue of them in the future, they looked older, by a decade at least. A decade, longer than he ever thought he could have Rose by his side. He immediately tempered down the hope rising in him, it was only a statue after all.

"Hey you, get off there! That's sacrilegious!" a man shouted from the crowd.

Many heads turned, then a whisper spread like wild fire across the mass of people: "the gods have come back." Like a wave receding, the inhabitants fell to their knees, one row after the other. The murmur died down and a devout silence settled in, all eyes were on them.

"Hiya," Rose said with shy hand wave.

"HIYA," the crowd repeated, mimicking her gesture.

Next thing they knew, they were swept off their feet by a group of men and carried through the streets to a temple.

It was your basic temple: large steps, white marble, triangular roof. But each column was shaped like a Tardis and, of course, there was a big bloody statue of Miss Tyler herself standing stark naked in an oyster. The Doctor became flustered at the sight of it, but covered his embarrassment by chuckling loudly and nudging Rose in the ribs. However, his mockeries were cut short when she directed his attention to another sculpture. This one representing the Time Lord holding the sonic screwdriver with nothing but a strategically placed leaf to cover his modesty.

"Oi! That's not fair, that leaf's…"

"What?" Rose asked, tongue curling teasingly over her teeth.

"It's too small," he muttered, and Rose burst out laughing once more.

"Men and the size of their leaves."

She had other mockeries right on the tip of her tongue, but a group of priests were walking towards them. Their pace was brisk, their togas, long and brown like the Doctor's coat, floating behind them.

They fell to their knees as soon as they reached them.

"Oh great Rose and great Doctor, thank you for blessing us with your presence once again."

"Not at all. Please, don't…" the Doctor said, motioning for them to stand up.

The six men and women obeyed him, but kept their heads bowed.

"We are forever devoted to you and eternally grateful that you deigned to come down from the sky to grace our planet with your holy feet."

"S'alright, just taking a stroll, nice planet you got here, I like what you did with the place. Just, don't mind us and go about your day, celebrate the new year."

"Oh, but we can't. Please, you must do the mating ritual again."

"Sorry?"

* * *

><p>The Doctor had bought them some time by saying they needed to confer privately beforehand. And now they could barely look at each other without thinking about the mating ritual awaiting them. He kept himself busy by running the sonic screwdriver along the ornate wallpaper, while Rose was inspecting the furniture, searching for an exit.<p>

Two thoughts were on a loop in his head: they'd been here when they were much older and they'd been asked to do the ritual "again". It could only mean one thing, well, two, maybe three, still, they all came down to the same basic idea: somewhere in the future Rose and him become more than friends.

He looked over at his companion, she was on her tiptoes scanning the top of the wardrobe, her t-shirt riding up when she raised her arms, revealing a stretch of smooth skin. His hearts skipped a beat, as they often did when he looked at her. A whole decade with her by his side. A flash considering his lifespan, but what a wonderful flash. He thought of supernovas, how they can briefly outshine entire galaxies as they die. His fingers itched to reach her, but he ran them through his hair instead.

Having searched everywhere without any success, Rose sighed and sat down on a luxurious chaise lounge.

"So, we've been here before?" she asked.

"I think we were here in their past but in our future," the Doctor explained, he was now lying on the floor, sonicing the baseboards.

"Ok, but why does this lot think we're gods?"

"Well, we must've helped them like we usually do."

"Yeah, suppose, but there are actual statues of us out there."

The Doctor sat up, elbows on knees, and looked up at her.

"You know how it is with myths, starts out small, they saw the sonic screwdriver or your hairdryer, and then it's passed on from generation to generation, it gets embellished and exaggerated each time, and bam you've got yourself a religion."

There was a knock at the door and a girl walked in. They both stood up when they recognized Dryadalis, pushing a cart covered with various beverages and pastries that smelled delicious.

"Please, accept this humble offering."

"Chips would've been a better offering for you," the Doctor whispered to Rose who had to muffle her giggles against his arm.

While the Doctor stuffed his mouth with bite-size cakes, Rose chatted with Dryadalis, subtly trying to find a way out of the situation. It's not that she didn't want to do a mating ritual with the Doctor, it's that she didn't want it to happen in front of an audience. Unfortunately, the girl caught on pretty quickly to what Rose was trying to do (she was a smart one).

"If you want to leave, I will help you," she said, "but if I may be so bold as to speak my mind…"

"'Course."

Dryadalis fiddled nervously with the hem of her blue shirt, searching for the right words to express her thoughts.

"After your first visit to our humble planet, we had decades of prosperity… we are a peaceful people and we help out the neighbouring planets, but with the Ploombjiam attack and the draught…tensions are running high and the citizens are divided… I think, if you could do the mating ritual, it would really help us all."

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other: they had to go through with this now if it would help the MirHeitians. They nodded and exchanged a tight-lipped smile.

"So, refresh my memory, what's this ritual again?" he asked.

A hopeful smile blossomed on Dryadalis' lips.

"You have to wear the coadunation robes."

"At least, we're not naked," Rose mumbled.

"Of course not, that would be inappropriate for a mating ritual," the Doctor scoffed as he pushed his hands in his pockets. "What happens once we're in the coadunation robes?"

"You hold hands and walk onto the temple's platform, and then you press your mouths together."

"And then?" Rose asked, toying with her hoop earring.

"And then your union is officialised."

"That's it?" the Doctor asked.

Rose held her breath at the sight of Dryadalis' blush.

"Well, if the couple wants to do more afterwards, it's up to them, but it's certainly not going to happen in the temple."

"'S just a kiss," she said, laughing with relief until she met the Doctor's eyes.

"Just a kiss," he repeated, voice flat, before swallowing thickly.

After making sure they were indeed willing to perform the ritual, Dryadalis left the room to fetch the ceremonial robes. They remained alone in the too silent room. Once again, the Doctor couldn't meet Rose's eyes. She sat back down on the chaise lounge and her shoulders sagged.

"I never thought it would happen like this," Rose whispered mostly to herself.

"What?"

He turned towards her, and Rose gave him a pointed look.

"... Oh! You've thought about kissing me!"

She wanted to slap that smug grin right off his face.

"Of course, I have. With all that hugging and hand-holding, a girl has certain… expectations. You know what, you're a tease, that's what you are Doctor, a big old tease."

"Oi! I'm the tease? You're the one who's— you're always wearing sexy clothes," he accused her.

Rose looked down at her t-shirt and jeans with a frown. It was her turn to grin smugly.

"You think I'm sexy."

"I said your clothes!"

"But my clothes aren't sexy. Therefore, one must deduce—"

"Oh, don't deduce."

Rose's confidence deflated instantly. She dropped the subject and looked down as she wrung her hands in her lap.

Saying the Doctor was a tease might have been an exaggeration, but it didn't change the fact that she was confused by his attitude towards her. Just last week, he'd taken her to an anti-gravity ballroom, he'd spent all night dancing with her, holding her close, seemingly delighted by her laughter after he'd made her spin, but he'd spent the next day locked up in his office. After escaping the Beast, they'd slept in the same bed, and when she'd woken up the next day, he'd landed the Tardis near a junkyard and was already gone. The Jekyll and Hyde of romance, he was.

After a moment of uncharacteristic silence from the Doctor, she chanced a glance at him. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed on his chest, a deep line etched between his eyebrows. Rose tilted her head with a soft smile, and he smiled back at her instantly. Cause and effect. He pushed himself off the wall and came to sit next to her on the chaise lounge, his knee brushing against hers.

Thing is, he couldn't tell her how much he wanted her, but neither could he let her think that it wasn't the case. It was all a bit muddled, thoughts and hopes entangling half-way between his brain and his hearts, creating a lump in his throat and preventing him from seeing things clearly. He was used to strong conflicting emotions, but it could usually be solved with rationality and some tinkering. Not this time. He nudged her knee with his until her eyes settled on him.

"Maybe it doesn't have to be this way," he said.

"How d'you mean? We've got to help them."

"No, I mean, the first time, we could…"

He tugged on his ear, unable to finish his sentence. As she realized what he was saying, Rose felt her cheeks warm up.

"D'you really want to, though?" she asked.

Even with the Doctor, she had no interest in a pity first kiss.

The Doctor nodded and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder, thumb stroking the edge of her collarbone. They licked their lips simultaneously which made them laugh, and that chuckle eased something in them. She brushed her fingertips over his cheek, and he leaned into her touch until she was fully cupping his face.

When he moved incrementally towards her, she realized this was really happening, her heart hammered in her chest, making her head spin. Before she lost her nerves, she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his. There was a moment of hesitation, everything was still, even the air around them, the moment stretched until it snapped, and then their mouths were moving in a messy kiss, restless hands clutching hair and clothes, as their bodies collapsed together. It felt like falling and floating all at once.

When they parted, Rose kept her eyes closed, savouring the tingling on her lips and the lingering taste of the Doctor on her tongue. Upon opening them, she saw him, he had such an adoring look on his face, it made her heart swell like never before.

"Not bad for a first kiss," he said.

"Shut up."

"Maybe the second one will be even better. There's something to be said for practice…"

He was still close enough that she could feel his breath on her nose. It was only a matter of dipping his head, and they were reunited once more. This time, the kiss was unhurried, sweet and slow, and she might have turned into a puddle hadn't he been holding her so close to him. When they parted, they rested their foreheads against each other and remained silent, their fingers threading and unthreading in a dance familiar to new lovers.

A knock on the door caused them to jump apart, and Dryadalis came in holding the robes. The show must go on.

"Our third kiss shouldn't be in front of an audience either," Rose said coyly as they waited backstage for the high priest to finish reciting a prayer.

The Doctor pressed his smile to hers, and they kissed quickly. A similar giddiness coursed through their spines and made them giggle.

Just one minute before midnight, they were ushered towards the platform. The right sleeve of Rose's coadunation robe was sewn to the Doctor's left sleeve, and as they walked under the spotlight, he threaded their fingers together giving her hand a gentle squeeze of support. Rose was thankful for it when she saw the huge crowd that had gathered in front of the temple. Sweat beaded on her forehead. The devout silence was deafening, surely everyone could hear her heart hammering in her chest and the blood rush to her cheeks.

"Hey, look at me," the Doctor said softly.

Of all the beautiful things he'd seen in this infinite universe, and still he could look at her like he'd never seen anything as wonderful. She used her free arm to pull him down, kissing him before the clock had struck twelve, eliciting loud cheers from the crowd. The drummers behind them started playing, and the gold dust on their instruments flew off in the air. Under a golden rain, they laughed and kissed all at once.

"Happy New Year," they said to each other before kissing again.

Last minute food and drinks had been prepared, and the New Year celebration was held as it should be. They tried to mingle and talk with the locals but they all kept a respectful distance. Eventually, Rose's charm and the Doctor's gob won the MirHeitians over, and they were pulled into group dances and skittles games. Even though they didn't have another moment to themselves for the rest of the night, they were never far apart: his hand on her lower back steadied her when children ran past her and fingers through his hair made him smile after losing a game of darts.

"Let's get you back home," the Doctor said, later on, as the crowd began to thin out.

"But… we were at my mum's just two days ago," Rose stammered.

Ever since they'd kissed, a part of her had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. That was it, she thought.

"Oh no, I meant the Tardis, your other home, I think, if that's— maybe not."

"My other home," she agreed, linking their arms together.

They strolled through the streets towards the Tardis, looking up at a nearby pink nebula that lit the night sky. A mixture of happiness and alcoholic flower nectar buzzed in their veins and made their bodies hum with content.

The sound of running footsteps behind them caught their attention. Dryadalis reached them, KitCat on her heels.

"You forgot this," she said, out of breath.

She handed them pieces of jewelry that married couples wore on MirHeit. They were metal bracelets, sculpted to look like knobby tree roots, each contained a special magnet designed to attract specifically the other's bracelet to guide their wrists together whenever they were close. The Doctor and Rose didn't need any fancy magnet for their hands to find each other in a crowd, but they accepted the gifts gratefully nonetheless.

"Thank you," Rose said, "and happy new year!"

Before saying goodbye, she hugged Dryadalis and petted KitCat's head, and the Doctor did too (although, he had to awkwardly disentangle himself from the girl's embrace who didn't seem to want to let him go, still, he allowed her to touch his hair, suppose it comes with being a deity and all that).

"So, that's what, five times now that we've accidentally gotten married?" Rose said as they neared the Tardis.

"Six if you count the flower exchange on Marsupialia."

"Oh, I'm counting Marsupialia, they made me wear that horrible dress, they did. I looked like mum's shepherd's pie!"

He unlocked the door and held it opened for her.

"Mrs. Doctor," he said with a flourish.

Rose stepped inside, chuckling.

"You know, that's more weddings than kisses," she commented.

She turned around and found the Doctor right behind her, his eyes intent on her.

"Well, we can't have that now, can we?"

He stepped closer, leaned in slightly, eyes flicking to her moist lips.

"No, we can't," Rose replied in a low, sultry voice, twirling his tie around her hand.

He nudged her nose with his, and she offered her lips which he captured without a second thought. And in the privacy of the Tardis, kissing took on a whole different meaning. The Doctor made a low, rumbling noise in the back of his throat and used his whole body to back her against the console. His hands slipped under her t-shirt to grab her waist.

"This is going to be fantastic," he whispered against her neck.


End file.
